The Journey Begins

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

I have three young adult kids. I feel fortunate. The oldest and youngest both conduct themselves in a mature, confident manner. The middle one, not so much.

The middle one seems to feel that because they came from a broken family, they have an excuse for their lack of responsibility and aggressiveness. This one also has a self destruct button, meaning so far, two suicide attempts, followed by continued self hurt. Yes they have seen psychologists and other professionals. I’m not certain of the pattern of those relationships, as they’ve sought out their own assistance from time to time, but I think its pretty safe to say that once they hear the opinions and it’s not what they wanted to hear, the professionals are not correct in their assessments. And then the rage builds within them and the self destruct button is activated.

I have also sought out professional help. I have seen new therapists and returned to the ones the kids visited when they were small. At the end of it, I leave their offices, feeling unresolved, sometimes confused, and a couple hundred dollars lighter in the pocket.

I have been assigned blame from this one as well. I have been mostly open with them, and admitted mistakes, but have stopped. First of all, there are no do overs, I can’t change the past. Second, I can only say I’m sorry so many times before I feel beaten mentally, and third, it’s used as a weapon verbally to me.

I do continue to make a lot of mistakes. And it would appear that the therapists don’t understand or can’t offer some sort of solution or story or guidance, that someone else out in the world may be able to. I don’t know…I don’t know who to turn to or what to do any more.

Does anyone want to talk about this?